Will There Be Mimosas With Breakfast?

Gotta love Lord John Marbury.  The world is going to hell in a handcart, and he still keeps his priorities straight.

Well, most of you know that Southern Beale took the month of November off.  She received permission to do this from Progressive Central, on the condition that I do the same.  We spent the month trying to rekindle our torrid love affair in the Bahamas.  That’s all I can say about that.

Rather than try to write a long post deconstructing whats been written about this past month, I’ve decided to just write down some observations and random “aha” moments that occurred throughout this past Fall season:  In no particular order:

Chickens are stupid, shit-full birds.  I once thought I would have difficulty killing and eating something I’ve cared for, but I’m actually looking forward to wringing their tiny necks and serving them with snaps beans and an amusing but never precocious Pinot Grigio.

Android phones allow a person to carry the entire world in a trouser pocket.  I now know what the fuss was about.  I’m also waiting for Brett Favre to sext me.  It could happen.

A good friend of mine, recently screwed over by his landlord and “partner”, has gone solo and opened up his very own tattoo shop, “Darkside Tattoo” and he is located in White House, Tn.  He does beautiful work, if you are in the market for some ink, hit him up, he’ll treat you right.

Retrofitting bath tubs, especially into corners that aren’t plumb or square, isn’t very much fun.  Neither is crawling under a cabin to cut away portions of the floor joists, particularly when there is barely enough crawlspace clearance to slide in a Saltine.  Just sayin.

We have finally reached parity in the NFL.  Any given Sunday indeed.

The Democrats suck.  The Republicans suck.  The Tea Party sucks.  The media suck.  Not a leader to be found.

I’ve been back in the car business for 4 months.  After paying everything, I made 12 bucks.  I did better than a lot of guys who buy at auction and re-sell.  Plus, some nice people are driving nice cars and trucks that I found.  There is actually something really cool about that.  I hope to make 24 dollars next year!

I have awesome kids.

I have an an awesome wife.

I have awesome friends.

I can throw a 175 gram polymer disc 300 ft with alarming accuracy, but can’t toss it 10 feet and hit a basket nearly three feet wide.

My snack of choice is now baked Pita chips and a glass of ice cold Pepsi.

If people don’t start remembering what banks are for, Wall St. is going to bankrupt this country long before our entitlement programs can do it.  Seriously, aren’t people paying attention?

Shopping for “Dirty Santa” gifts is harder than it sounds.

Sadly, I am on a first name basis with every employee at Lowes.

Dear Netflix, you said it would take 2 years to go through your entire library.  I almost done.  I’ll pay the extra two bucks, but could you please buy the rights to some decent movies?

Can someone tell me why it’s necessary to allow certain Facebook applications to rummage through my private info?

More later.


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6 responses to “Will There Be Mimosas With Breakfast?

  1. Mychal

    Plz send car.
    Love, your favorite west coast daughter.

  2. Mychal

    Also plz send mimosas.

  3. Android? You bought an Android?? Next thing you know, you’ll Twitter with the damned thing. I have an iPhone that work pays for mostly and I’d have a hard time without the thing. It’s got better Internet than the home computer and it’s all we use for finding stiff on the net at home now.

    I’ve never retrofitted one of those bath tubs, but I would consider that in the same category as electrical work for friends. I’ve told my wife never to volunteer me for that (after one such volunteering went horibly wrong and required more time, multiple trips to Home Depot and damn near rewiring the whole kitchen because the licensed electrician did a crappy job.)

    If I can ever afford a truck, I’ll call you. Any car salesman who can’t make more profit than that’s gotta be ok in my book. 🙂

  4. democommie


    Shoulda called me on that bathroom and joist job. My house has fewer square, level, plumb or flat surfaces than a sphere–Whaddaya think joint compound is for (the knifable sort, not the other one)?

    I hate my cellphone, I HATE Verizcum and I REALLY HATE people what got ‘droids–unless they’re hemodroids, then I can empathize.

  5. Mack

    Demo- I can’t call you if you have no phone. What a maroon.
    Mychal, postage is prohibitive, so solly.

    Jim, I’m definitely your guy.

  6. democommie

    Mack, I got three phones, one is my cellphone and the other two are the house phones–I don’t answer them, even when they both ring at the same time.

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