I Save The Economy

So, I talking with a neighbor and friend yesterday, and he asks me if I plan to keep a rooster along with my chickens.  I told him I probably would, once I felt comfortable enough to deal with the inevitable baby chicks.  He replied, “well, you’ll be up at 4:00 a.m. everyday.”  That struck me as funny, since I will apparently get 30 minutes more sleep once I bring a rooster to Chez Coyote.  Or, more likely, I’ll wander outside and wake HIS ass up.

At 3:30 this morning, I read this article, for two reasons.  The first is that HuffPo thought it so important that they gave it their enormous “page one” banner.  HUGE, COLORED FONT.  The second is because i caught this kid Stein on one of the morning news shows, and I liked what he had to say.

I thought it was funny that the underwear executive said that the only people who will see a man’s drawers is the guys in the locker room.   Really?  So, as men, we will sacrifice buying new underwear so that our family can have those little extras?  This is any kind of reliable economic indicator?

20 years ago, I bought ten pair of JC Penney boxer briefs, all black, pouchless.  I threw out the last of those a week ago.  The damn things were well made.  They had just enough nylon in them to hold the fabric snug to your legs, no riding or bunching up when you sat down or squatted.  They were double stiched.  They breathed, which kept one’s dangly bits from suffocating or smelling stale.

Since then, as those garments wore out, I have replaced them intermittently.  I have tried all the new fangled banana hammocks, slings, pouches, etc, but nothing beats a pair of biker-short like underwear, with or without the optional pouch.  The trouble is, pairs that I bought a year ago have already fallen apart.  Maybe that is where the economic indicator part comes in.  Yes, of course.  If I purchase an inferior product more often, that means I’m doing well financially.  Maybe I’m the odd one out here, but I’m pretty sure by the age of 25 most guys want comfort and durability out of their underwear, not designer labels. So, I found some boxer briefs at the Jockey store that, like the old JC Penney ones, had a bit of nylon incorporated into them.  They were on clearance, so I bought 8 pair.  Time will tell.

Though, it would be kinda cool to own a pair of Sponge Bob briefs.



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7 responses to “I Save The Economy

  1. demoommie

    A brief on briefs, whodathunkit!

    Though I’ve never been married I have fallen prey to the “mixed load” destruction paradigm, wherein the same gentle, well domesticated laundry appliances that so lovingly caressed the delicate underthings of my lady friends would go berserk and destroy, nay, disintegrate my extremely (if moderately stained and a bit frayed) briefs/boxers/t-shirts and lucky socks. Mind you, I never saw any of this happen. The machines were always cool, docile and obedient when I used them. However, when my distaff companion would use them, all manner or mayhem would ensue. Perhaps the machines were male? Really, really jealous males?

  2. democommie

    I misspelled my own name? I’m going back to bed to think about this for a while.

  3. See,, i don’t quite get that, Demo. I’ve owned some terrible washing machines, I mean some of the most destructive appliances on the planet, and have never had any of my delicate underthings even badly bruised…

  4. democommie


    Perhaps you have time to stand over said appliances while they go about their chores. I, otoh, have a very busy schedule (consisting, primarily, in complaining about how busy I am) and have to let them do their own thing. Maybe it would help if I took some photos of the scrapyard and hung them in the laundry room, so’s they could get a notion of what lies in store for untrustworthy machinery…

  5. Amber

    I don’t think there’s a washing machine strong enough to cleanse my brain of the phrase “kept one’s dangly bits from suffocating or smelling stale”.

  6. I know what you mean. I order mine over the tubes to get something more comfortable but, unfortunately there’s not the same level of quality as there once was.

    Boxer briefs work for the danglies, eh? Good to know. 🙂 Sorry, Amber.

  7. “I don’t think there’s a washing machine strong enough to cleanse my brain of the phrase “kept one’s dangly bits from suffocating or smelling stale”.”

    That pretty much sums it up.

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