New Rules

I don’t have very many rules here at Coyote Creek.  Friends may come and go as they like.  Tired?  Crash.  Hungry?  Eat your fill.  I have friends that come over, plop down on the couch, and knit all day, and don’t care to interact much, and don’t care if I don’t interact much.  Others come by to enjoy the property, and some find this a pleasant place to just spark a bowl in peace.  I am cool with all of it.

However, after thinking about it all day, and discussing it with friends to make sure it isn’t just me being all curmudgeonly or…dare i say it, mavericky, I’ve decided to lay down the law about this one thing:

Blackberrys.  Or any other electronic device that you type into, or recieve messages through.  Once you cross my threshold, turn them off.  Want to tweet?  Go home.  Gotta check you email?  Ditto.  I understand leaving a cell phone on, and even answering it when it rings, but anything beyond that is now verbotin.

I will not be an enabler.  I will not organize or participate in an intervention.  I’m just going to tell you once, turn it off, put it away, or go home.

And no brown M&Ms.  Which I guess should go without saying.

Thats about it.


Filed under Uncategorized

43 responses to “New Rules

  1. Hahaha, I have a blackberry.
    I guess that means no visiting for me =)

  2. …discussing it with friends to make sure it isn’t just me being all curmudgeonly…

    In other words, talking about me behind my back?

    Thanks a lot, friend.

    I was tweeting about what a wonderful time I was having. It’s just a thing, ya know?

    Sorry you got so tweaked about it that you had to a) discuss it with other people and b) write a post about it, but what is the difference between me doing that momentarily and somebody else not paying attention to you by looking down at their knitting?

    Answer: the person doing it

  3. Except that, you know, these people don’t know you, and i never mentioned names, so, I believe you may have just outed yourself.

    Wasn’t my intention. Rather, after talking to folks, it seems a few of them had to have heart to hearts with people in their lives that won’t put their toys down. It really has nothing to do with the level of relationship.

  4. For example, I have to sometimes get on to my kids when they have friends over, then spend their time with their faces glued to the computer.

    I’ve actually met children whose parents didn’t see the need to admonish them to look up from their game and acknowledge a grown-up speaking to them. Its courtesy.

  5. I have no problem outing myself regarding this topic. Because here’s the thing: I am 41-years-old, not a child. If I am utilizing my phone but am spoken to, there is not a time that I do not look up from the phone to interact with the person who is speaking to me. By all means children should have rules imposed if need be, but adults should be treated as adults. Again, there is no difference between a person looking at their phone screen versus a television screen (a movie), video game (i.e., Rock Band, Guitar Hero), knitting, or any other activity that takes their attention away from direct conversation with the people in the room…as long as they give people the priority when spoken to.

  6. Well, like i said, the intention was not to point a finger, but after talking with friends today, they seem to all have the same perspective. I was surprised by the number of younger ones that were sick of the constant “plugged-in” state some their friends remain in…

    I know this, if I spent time, energy and money to spend time with a friend, and that friend stayed on their device, I would have to assume that it was the priority in their life.

    Anyway, we’ll see what others have to say.

  7. And, fwiw, adults have rules imposed on them all of the time. I have friends that make me take off my shoes when entering their home. Its the same thing…

  8. Again, Mack…putting your head into a movie, a video game, knitting, or an electronic device are all the same thing.

    You are imposing a double standard.

  9. …and amazingly…all of this comes from from the ironic fact that I was singing your praises on Twitter.

  10. Its not a question of content, Ginger. And it would be the same if someone brought a gameboy, or other device that they couldn’t put away.

    You either see it, or you don’t.

  11. But, this might help. A very good friend of mine has this annoying habit of getting up to check his fantasy points while we are watching a game together. I finally told him to quit or carry his ass home to watch it.

    Sometimes, other close friends will stare at their computers while I’m over at their house. Since it is their house, I can’t impose my rules, or standards or ethics, so i busy myself elsewhere, or i go home. But I wouldn’t dream of taking my laptop to anyone’s house, and sitting there reading or posting something.

  12. So the keyword is “device”…whereas a piece of “knitting” is okay. But the attention is just as diverted.

    No…there is no difference, you will not convince me otherwise.

  13. No problem. Carry on.

  14. Mack,

    I like the cut of your jib.

  15. Aw, you two kiss & make up!

    Anyway, but hey – you earned some serious macho cred in the (very) early days of Twitter during the Mack & B Fest 2007, when Ivy & I Tweeted a few times about you being surrounded by a pack of wild drunken women & how much fun we were all having. 😉

    And we didn’t Tweet all that much anyway, plus almost everybody was pretty drunk at that point anyhow. 😀

  16. Mack,
    You should invite me out. I hate all those devices.
    If it weren’t for tweets and twats, the Tennessee blogosphere would totally love me if they talked to me in person instead of the plugged in gossip devices.

    I look forward to your invitation, and of course, obeying the house rules.

  17. Someone has a twat that can spread gossip?! And here I thought my cooter was talented!

  18. jag

    I see the difference. If someone wants to come to my house and sit and read, I interpret that as them feeling comfortable enough in my home and my company to relax. If someone is constantly checking email or talking on their phone, then I feel as though my company isn’t good enough so they have to supplement that by communicating with other people.

  19. Agreed wholeheartedly. My co-workers’ blackberries get on my last nerve. If we’re having a meeting, they need to put them away. And the fiance is attached to his iPod Touch like it’s his child. He’s been made fun of mercilessly for it. But if he starts bringing the thing to bed, he’s going to lose it.
    I did ask a teenaged member of the family this weekend why kids text each other when they’re right next to each other and he said, “Because adults listen too much. So we text things that are private.” That actually made a lot of sense to me.
    But some people get really out of hand. It’s annoying trying to have a conversation with someone who’s having a conversation with an electronic device. It’s not the same as knitting at all.

  20. Well, it seems the knitting sidetracked the most important point. When I mentioned that a certain friend will come by, sit, knit, and just “be”, I was trying to convey that being here, and relaxed is key. There are some HUGE differences. Perhaps the most important difference is that if I ask this person to put away their knitting, they would do so.

    But there is also a difference between the constant visitor who just hangs with us, and the planned, prepared for social occasion, like dinner out with friends.

    I would think that once someone has expressed a desire for you to put away the phone or whatever, common courtesy dictates that you would do so.

  21. bridgett

    Your house, your rules. It’s analogous to asking someone not to talk on the cellphone during a holiday meal.

    Rule of thumb: In the vast majority of social situations, nothing I’m doing is so interesting that people outside the room need to be updated on it. (I’ll admit, the friend that sent me an IM saying “OMG! I just had dinner with Obama!” was the exception to that rule.) Unless Mack was appointed to a Cabinet post or something, the Twittering could wait until the visit is over.

  22. Crochetting! I crochet! I can’t knit my way out of a paper bag.

    Jeez, people. Knitting is with two pointy sticks and crocheting is with one hook.

    Clearly, one couldn’t sit on a couch and watch football and knit at the same time without being rude. Obviously. But crochetting is a whole other matter. 😉

  23. nm

    Mack hasn’t been appointed to a Cabinet post yet? Richardson is right; Hispanics are getting dissed here.

    What about going into another room to whisper (at great length) to a dog? Where does that fall on the rudeness to hosts scale?

  24. bridgett

    Did the host ask you to quit gossiping to the dog? If not, you’re probably solid.

  25. bridgett

    Yeah, I was wondering when Betsy learned to knit.

  26. Actually, we have an aunt that knits when she is here. So, there ya go.

  27. nm

    Bridgett, hah.

  28. heartbreaktown

    Hmm, I suppose one has to be there to get the whole vibe and context of the situation.

    But in one’s defense, I can certainly envision a scenario where one might desire (or perhaps even need) to be plugged in and still have plenty of time and attention for one’s host/guests. If you’ve invited people over to hang out in a casual no pressure relaxed kind of thing, then it would seem however a person wishes to kick back should be their choice.

    Of course if you’re trying to talk to someone face to face but they can’t bring themselves to participate because they’re texting, tweeting, gabbing on a cell or reading or watching tv then I can see where it would be off-putting.

    I’m not sure a flat-out rule would is necessary but as it’s been said, your house, your rules – even if it does seem a bit curmudgeony.

  29. Right. Context is important. In a casual, no pressure relaxed kind of thing, where half of the guests are in the garage smoking, half of the guests are in the other room playing Rock Band, and grabbed my phoned the times I came out of the john, I see absolutely no rudeness in it. It wasn’t like I tweeted a play by play during the actual Thanksgiving dinner! Sheesh.

  30. Oh, and Lynnster, I’m not kissing Mack. Boys have cooties.

  31. lol, I used to have a friend who would come over, and plop herself down in front of MY computer and proceed to myspace/facebook/whatever away for at least half an hour till I kicked her off.

    I try to refrain from excessive text messaging in social situations, but if I am seated at the dinner table or in a movie or something, the phone remains where it belongs- silent in my purse.

    Ultimately though, it is the crackberry addict who is missing out on social face time. If he/she is on the phone the whole time, it is he/she who will have missed the good jokes, not been invited to the groups shot of tequila, what have you. Everyone else should have a good time and not make too much of an effort to include this person unless this person puts down the phone and joins the group.

  32. Exactly, and despite what Mack has portrayed here, I put the damn thing away.

  33. I know what I’m bringing as a gift to Coyote Creek whenever I get up there again! Now if I can just find what I’m looking for between now and then.

    If I can’t find it, I’ll ask B. to crochet (not knit) one for me!

  34. Lynnster, you’re a mess.

  35. I forget to turn my cell phone off, but that’s because it practically never rings. I carry my notebook almost everywhere when I travel or do any photography, as I need to download and burn photos for people before I go somewhere else and they never get them. Other than that, I tend not to be plugged in too much. Blogging is what I do when I’m at home, usually, or in somebody else’s space and THEY need some privacy.

  36. Lynnster, Mars Candy company will do M&Ms in whatever color you want. You could give Mack a 5# bag of brown M&Ms ordered through the tubes and not have to spend a second knitting or crocheting.

  37. well, crap. fact checking determines they don’t come in custom with brown shells.

  38. jim voorhies:

    Send them to me, I’ll try dyeing them in small batches with various, safe dyestuffs. I’ll also test them to make sure they ARE foodsafe. Better send, umm,’bout a hundred pounds.

  39. perhaps we just need to appeal to a higher power that Mack doesn’t understand, like twitter, for brown m&ms in mass quantities…

  40. supermousey

    Is that why I don’t get a phone??

    XD Just kidding.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s