Like Meat With A Pause Button

Ah, Spam. Ridiculed by comedians and food snobs for years, it is a best-selling product in this economic downturn.  Some chain supermarkets are reporting skyrocketing sales of rice and beans, (which I totally understand, because I could eat both with every meal) and Velveeta, (which completely eludes me)

Well, I’ll eat Spam.  When I was a kid, I loved it.  I could eat it cold, on a cracker, or fry it up and eat it with toast.  Whats not to love?  Its meat-like, its salty as hell, and its cheap, not chic.  If I ever forget where I put it, I could make little Spam maps, which is fun for no other reason except thats a palindrome.

Its Ham’s little half-brother.  Its funny, I know people who scrunch up their faces at the mere mention of Spam, then reach right past you to retrieve their Hot-Pocket from the microwave….Haute Pahkit.  Hawwwt pawkit. ) Sorry, I was riffing on this comedian The Missus and Rock Solid made me watch.

Anyway, I just thought I’d mention Spam since it looks like we are in for a rough ride for a few years.  I’ll tell ya, I’ve figured out how to feed a family of four three meals a day for less than 300 bucks a month, and never had to supplement with Spam or any other faux meat.  But, one cool thing about it is that until you open it, it needs no refrigeration.  The can of shiny pink meat substance, covered in puke colored gelatin can last for years in your pantry, or the trunk of your car.

I’m going to practice making corn tortillas like my Grandma made.  In fact if any of y’all want to come over and make some, lets do that while our big pot of pinto beans cooks.  We’ll make a day of it.  Who knows, you may find that skill useful in the days ahead.

For awhile, I want to talk about cheap, practical food.  And ways to save fuel.  And financial literacy.  And the Titans.  Anything but politics.

Send me your best Spam recipe…I’ll cook it up and take pictures and everything.


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12 responses to “Like Meat With A Pause Button

  1. Take one can of Spam. Try not to think about the weird gross gelatin on the top. Fail. Toss out.

  2. On Sunday mornings, my Daddy used to fry it up if we were out of bologna.

    Having a cooked breakfast on Sunday mornings was considered something special in our house…so Spam was good eatin’! lol

  3. I can eat it when it’s burned to a crisp with cheese on it.

  4. nm

    Sorry, it’s treif. But I can tell you how to save your chicken, beef, and lamb scraps, make broths, schmaltz, suet, and have such intensely flavored grains and beans that your taste buds lack for nothing.

  5. Sorry, it’s not alowed in our house. My father-in-law had to eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner for three weeks (or three years, I forget which) on the way back to the mainland after WWII.

  6. Hey, y’all, I own no Spam stock. I’m just commenting on the soaring sales volume…

    Its edible. It keeps. File that away.

  7. Are you sure, NM? Are you also forbidden any alien object that pretends to be ham? I mean, I’m convinced that stuff is straight out of Roswell.

  8. nm

    B, I think there have been specific rulings on this. I’m not sure they mentioned Roswell, but we’re not supposed to eat it.

    The funny thing is that I don’t at all have the same conceptual exception to it that so many do — the animals I eat, I eat pretty thoroughly, and the idea of miscellaneous parts of one of them boiled up together and pressed into a can doesn’t bother me. Now, the flavoring used and the can flavor probably would, but not the idea of it.

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  10. Take one can of Spam. Try not to think about the weird gross gelatin on the top. Fail. Toss out.

    If I ever get around to creating that cookbook I’ve been threatening to put together/design, Aunt B will get a credit for that recipe in the chapter titled “Foods I Wouldn’t Touch with a Ten Foot Pole, but You Might Enjoy”.

    That said, I love some Velveeta. I could drink Rotel cheese dip.

    My own method for saving money around here is the one dish meal — and I’m on a casserole kick lately — my rule of thumb for the past 3 years has been “eat all of what you cook” — no waste. And I can generally eat for 3 days on one batch of whatever is in the fridge.

  11. democommie

    Spam is to meat what Mickey Mouse’s pal, Goofy, is to dogs.

    I’ve not eaten spam in at least 50 years. I did go into a “$ store” once, about 10 years ago and buy some cans of veal. There’s not a chance in hell I would have opened one of the three cans I bought, but they were great gag gifts–pun intended.

  12. I actually kinda like fried Spam. But I used to like Vienna sausages OK, and when I bought some recently (39 cents at Walgreens) I got ooked out by the goopy stuff and couldn’t deal with it, so that might cancel out the Spam now.

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