Last weekend, my best friend and his girlfriend were married.  The night before the ceremony, (which I assume is traditional) the rehearsal dinner took place.  I arrived at the church on time and was introduced to extended family and friends, and, after going through the steps several times, we all went to eat together.  I was seated next to the Bridesmaid.  She was young, 25, I think, and I found her to be pleasant and funny and completely happy to be taking part in this event for her best friend.  We talked a little, mostly (I thought) joking about the inevitable 7th yr itch that supposedly strikes all marriages.  (She and her husband were in year 7 of their marriage, though they had been dating for almost 9 years.)  Before the rest of us were finished with dinner, she packed a to go box to take to her husband.

The wedding came off perfectly, and the reception afterwards was fun. The bridesmaid sat at our table and seemed to enjoy the music and food.   Sometime after the toast, she hugged the bride and left with her husband.

Around 4:00 pm the next day, she placed a gun in her mouth and took her own life.

At 25 yrs old.

Perhaps in the coming days I will have something to say as to why this bright young girl made this decision.  For now, I think I will just make myself available for my friends should they need anything.  I’m a little numb.


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11 responses to “Heartache

  1. My heart has been hurting since you told me the news.

    There’s nothing I can do or say except to just let you know how deeply I am holding everyone in the situation close to my heart and in my prayers…including you.

  2. Totally, totally shocking.

    Numb is a good word. My prayers are with you, and with this poor girl’s family.

  3. nm

    More appropriately, maybe, are your friends (not the just-married ones, but the rest) properly available to you? What a dreadful thing.

  4. Sorry to hear this, Mack.

  5. democommie


    So sad. Pain borne alone is so much deeper. I’m not sure if prayer helps, but it’s never hurt me so I’ll offer one for both of you.

  6. Oh, how awful. I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to everyone affected.

  7. Mack,
    I have no words.


  8. Yikes, like ‘coma, I have no words. One always likes to think that it would be obvious if something were seriously wrong with another, but that’s obviously not true.

  9. My dad used to say that other people are strange. It’s easy to sit back and think “how horrible” and “why would someone” but we do that from where each of us is in our journey through life and we are still in life and have managed to not be where she ended up emotionally. I’ll say a prayer for you and her family. And for her.

  10. I’ve been out of the loop, but I’m so sorry to hear about this. Wow.

  11. Mychal

    Just read this, and there are no words.
    Except that we will probably never know or understand why people do the things they do.

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