Open Letter To Various Would-be Creditors

Dear Financial Institution, (and most recently, Regions Bank)

I know you don’t know my wife, at least not well.  Seems the other bank she was doing business with got swallowed up by you guys.  Mores the pity.  Anyway, you are the keeper of the Note, now, she had nothing to say about that.  Since she is about to pay you off in full, rather than subject herself to your condecending employees, I thought I might take this minute and ask you a few questions.  Over the next 20 years, you stand to make roughly 20,000 dollars on just this little note.  Since you already had all of the personal information about her, I called you to ask about converting this to another product, hoping that I could save her some time and trouble.  I already had a quote from an online source, one whose employees were polite, knowledgable, and helpful.  She does her best to do business locally.  She likes to walk into the bank, sit down with a loan officer, and close.  Sending back a foot-high stack of forms signed and notarized really isn’t the same.  Nevertheless, she did so today.  So here’s my question:

Why do you spend inordinate amounts of money trying to get her business, only then to treat her like a leper?

She doesn’t borrow money because she has to.  There are times when she finds it smarter to borrow a little, but stay liquid, particularly when money is relatively cheap.  She offsets the interest charged with investment interest, and some degree of peace of mind.  I bet that you know many people that do this.  Was it because the amount was too small to worry about?

Do you find it a good business practice to not return her calls, knowing that she will never do business with you again? 

Are your employees instructed to advise me that when my wife was too busy to sit and answer questions, that she should not have taken the call? 

She did, after all, hand me the phone, and sees no reason for both of us to be tied up.

Was it her credit?

I mean, I know she isn’t that much in debt, and you probably stand to make zilch on late fees, because, you know…she is never late.  Was it because she has a flawless track record with respect to paying loans off on time, and in full?  She has paid off 4 houses, countless cars, and a business loan.  What about her says “we don’t want her business”?

Are you still intending to call her at all hours, promoting your products, and sending her offers in the mail? 

If you are, I thought I might save you some time and money.  She isn’t interested.


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2 responses to “Open Letter To Various Would-be Creditors

  1. Pingback: Nashville is Talking » Linky Dinky Doo

  2. Man, this is like one of the best posts of the year. I HATE dealing with that kind of crap (from all kinds of different industries) and it never ceases to amaze me how clueless they are about how badly they are running OFF their business. Applause, applause, Mr. Mack.

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