Look, Ladies. I have removed the old food from the fridge. I wiped down the counters, , scrubbed the floors, and even took a brush to the commodes. I’m pretty sure all of the critters are out, dead and alive. I’ve mowed the surrounding acreage, and dusted the lawns with Sevin powder to keep the ticks and other creepy crawlies away. I did this out of love for the lot of you, but I absolutely, positively refuse to dust the place. It’s a cabin. Wood everywhere. A nightmare to dust. How %$##@!! clean does it have to be?
ok, ok. I’ll dust.
But let me be clear about one thing. It’s A CABIN, not a hayloft. There are flushable commodes, a working fridge (with a freezer) and pots, pans, fucking blenders AND a microwave. I’ve replaced the corn-cobs with something more delicate for you to wipe your delicate bottoms. Theres a fancy electric telephone that requires no cranking! There is a small color TV that gets HBO, Showtime, and HGTV so you won’t miss your favorite Nazi decorating show, or “Realtor Roundup with Butch Duke. ” I’m in the process of running speaker wire throughout the place so you can do your evil Feminist dances to the Nine Inch Voodo0 Dolls or whatever. Ok? You’ll be plenty comfortable. Please bring your own babies to sacrifice, I’m plumb out.