Yahweh Screws Up Too

Dear God, it’s me Mack.  Just wanted to clarify something with you, if you have a minute.  I hope I never let you think I didn’t believe in you, it’s just that I don’t believe you are infallible.  Really, anyone who thinks all of this is some grand accident is a moron, or probably spends too much time over at TCP.  (You wouldn’t believe what they are talking about today. Shudder)

Anyway, my proof that you get tired and make mistakes surfaces this time of year.  See, I love Spring, it really is some of your finest work.  Bright sunlight coupled with a gentle breeze, flowers in bloom, you know the drill.  Not to nit-pick, but onion grass and wasps were never in the plans, were they?  Toward the end, you decided to bust a little freestyle, and thought they would be a good idea.  Well, Madam, they are not.  I’m just sayin.
Your friend,


p.s. I appreciate the whole mid-term thing, really.


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10 responses to “Yahweh Screws Up Too

  1. Madam…

    God, I love this post.

  2. Yes, I do, too.

    Excepting that “El Shaddai” is the Hebrew term for the God-Feminine. ;-p

    (Yes, Bible Readers. There ARE Hebrew Terms for the God-Feminine.)

  3. Yes, of course, Kat. I am convinced that God encompasses both genders.

    Ok, ok, I really didn’t know that. 😦

  4. I’m sorry. I was just being all Bible-Geeknoid.

    I’ve been in churches so long where people get all offended if you refer to God as “She” or “Madam” or any other feminine pronoun.

    So it’s a knee-jerk reaction for me to point out that the God in The Bible that we read and base our faith on actually has FEMININE names, too. Names that specifically point out that God has feminine characteristics.

    (*Yes, I realise this is a TCP-style comment. Sorry about that…)

    Anyway “El Shaddai” actually means (roughly) “The All-Sustaining Mother God of The Breast.”

  5. Sorry? No need, it’s cool that you know so much about it. I may front about some things, but Biblical knowledge ain’t one em!

  6. nm

    And there’s always the Shekhina or Divine Presence, which is also female.

  7. Just popping in to say that even though I’m a moron, I thought this was a good post.

  8. Eliyahu

    Who are these people that keep talkin’ about all this G-d is female shit? G-d is neither; thus, WTF? I’m not offended; however, I do find it pointless.

    Next, “Yahweh”? While I don’t really find the use of the said term offensive, I do however, find it some what disturbing (and pointless). Besides, The actual term for G-d’s name has been lost since the destructoin of the Beit Mikdash–the Holt Temple–that is to be rebuilt by Moshiach. In addition, there is no “W” in that word. The word is spelled, Yud-hey-vav-hey, or יהוה

    ***(NOTE, since this comment now contains G-d’s name, one should treat this with caution if decides to print this comment.)***

    “Not to nit-pick, but onion grass and wasps were never in the plans, were they?”
    Yes, otherwise they would not have been created. And what is the onion grass and the wasps supposed to represent?

  9. Elihu, I think perhaps there has been a misunderstanding.

    I didn’t say God was female. I said God had female characteristics. Actually, GOD said God had female characteristics.

    As for the “w” in Yaweh, it is a common European substitution for the vav. In many countries, the “w” is pronounced as a with the fricative of a ‘v’, and it is my understanding that is the reason for both “Jehovah” and “Yahweh” as alphabetic transliterations of the original.

    Of course, I’ve only had a few years of Hebrew and am not fluent, so I could be wrong.

  10. Eli, go get a Websters. Look up the word humor. Apply the concept to this post. Remove stick from ass. Move along.

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