So, it’s been hot here for weeks, hot and dry and just unpleasant as hell. Then we got two and a half days of rain, which knocked down the dust and pollen and more than a few leaves. I decide it would be a good time to catch up on mowing the hills that surround the lower half of the property. About an hour or so into my job, and with Concrete Blonde blaring from my headphones, I feel a sting on the back of my head. Now, when I mow, I can count on the occasional bee or wasp sting, usually they fly into me and just bounce off. Suddenly, I feel another sharp pain near my left eye. Then another. Then another. Before I can make sense of it, I covered with yellow jackets, and the little cuties are attacking me with biblical ferocity. I ran. They chased. One hundred yards later, I call the house to have the Primary Wife pick me up…I can barely see and my face hurts so much I’m afraid I might pass out. She gets out of the truck, and is promptly stung. They are embedded in the collar of my shirt, the pockets, under my belt, and under my baseball cap. We drive up to the main house and start stripping off our clothes like teenagers at an ecstasy party. The doctor gave me two shots and advised I stay clear of yellow jacket nests.
My hands and face still feel like I’m on fire.
This morning, I took my good eye down to the scene of the crime and the sumbitches are still swarming. I think I know where the nest is now, and I’m planning a little diesel fuel party tonight….