On Finding Balance

Seems like I’ve been blogging for a very long time.  Though my archives won’t reveal it, (moving to WordPress was a monster task that my friend The Lynnster did for me because she is a sweetheart, but the process caused some older posts to stay behind) I’ve been at this since I moved to Nashville.  So, I had to laugh a little when I realized that I had not logged in for close to a month!  At first, I just thought I was taking a mental break…too much to absorb, categorize, and comment upon.  Finding something to write about is easy enough, or at least it was.  In the past, much of my writing was at least in part motivated by politics.  I don’t know if I had a mild form of Bush Derangement Syndrome or if the idea of sending kids off to war lit a fire under me, but it seems I had much to say these last 8 years or so…

I hope I still do.  I toyed with the idea of “going dark”, shutting down The Chronicles and calling it a good run.  That idea didn’t sit well with me.  For better or worse, I’ve carved out this tiny piece of the internet and claimed it as my own, and it feels wrong to just abandon it just because its become difficult to do on a daily basis.  I thought about becoming a “niche blogger”, and perhaps even turn a buck with this hobby.  Nah.  I know me, and I know that the time will come when I will resent being forced to write for a specific audience, or, worse, forced to remove language so I do not offend those paying me.  Been there, done that.  Then, there is also the realization that if writing were scored like golf, I’d be something like a 18 handicap.  You know the feeling if you’ve ever played a sport because you love it, even though you have reached The Peter Principle with respect to your mastery…yet, you continue to play.  Like that beautiful shot that leaves your hand perfectly, and travels a great distance, ultimately landing where you intended, writing is like that for me.  During a typical 18 hole round, a duffer like me might hit The One Shot that brings him back to play another day.  So it is with that one well -constructed thoughtful sentence.    Some people are naturals…I am not.  I have to work at it just to keep from embarrassing myself.

Anyway, I ain’t shutting this thing down.

But there will be changes.  If I don’t get here every day, I am not offering up reasons for it.  I’m not going to feel like I “should write” today.  It has to be ok, in my head, to just observe the events of the day without experiencing a need to comment about them.  People who know me will tell you I am not well suited for it.  I have lived my life believing those that sit and say nothing deserve their fate…it has taken decades for me to understand that not everyone passes judgment on what fate brings them…its always just what it is.  Until it isn’t.

So much of what passes for blogging these days isn’t working for me.  I don’t want to surf around the web and then spend a couple of hours telling another person why they are full of shit, waiting for them to respond, and then telling them why their response is full of shit. Not that sometimes it isn’t fun to do so, its just that all too often the ferocity of the attack is  tempered by some perceived status that person has…so it feels fake, or at least contrived.   I feel no need to have my every utterance echoed by a bevy of regular readers, each, possibly, with their own agenda that they will in time expect me to support.  On the flip side, I can’t just post cute pics of animals or music videos and call it a blog.  I want this to be fun, but I want to do this even when it is not fun.

I aim to find balance.  I’ve been trying to explain the importance of that to my daughter, (to the extent that you can explain something you don’t fully understand) and its been a running joke throughout our Holiday together.

So, thats it.  There will be more posts here.  Thats all I know.

11 Comments

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11 responses to “On Finding Balance

  1. For a long while, all I did was post little one-liners from a calendar of stupid things GWB said mostly because I wanted to blog but there was no “one thing” that I could think of that I wanted to blog about, to specialize in.

    Then I decided if I was going to do it at all, I just needed to do it for myself, not for readers or posterity or passing on wisdom to the unwashed masses.

    It’s not rocket surgery, after all, and there’s no one right answer. None of is as simple as we’d like to be nor as complex as we’re afraid we are. In the end, we are who we are. Being yourself is not bad, in fact, it’s good.

  2. Yea, I get that, Jim, but when I think of doing it just for me…

    I’d post pin ups or something all day. There should be more to this.

  3. I always appreciate reading what you have to say. I think most of the BS on blogs comes from comment trolls (and my site has been infested with its fair share), but I choose to ignore them.

    Hope you keep posting when you are able.

  4. democommie

    Mack:

    I would certainly miss you if you were gone. There are plenty of places I can go (and do go) to if I just want information. There aren’t enough places I can go and read something that is informative and humorous.

  5. Appreciate the responses, guys.

  6. I hope you keep posting, Mack. You’ll have a lot to say after tomorrow night.

    We(progressives) need you. There are very few of us who are pro active and do this to inform people about the issues and not to use it to get attention, friends, and validate ones’ life because they don’t get out and have one.

    We need more fact based and informed opinion based blogs, not “Well I think because I am the king or queen or the blogosphere you should read me and do as I say” blogs.

    I look forward to your informed opinion of Obama’s speech tomorrow night.

  7. Amber

    Hmm – not sure what to say – but wanted you to know that I was reading. It would be one of life’s little disappointments if you were to call it a night – you were my inspiration to start my own little site. You always seem to enjoy writing – at least that’s how it comes across – even when you’re frustrated about something.

    I think if you shut down, there’s a good chance you’d regret it. Sure, you could start again and try to rebuild, but it wouldn’t be, nor feel the same.

    So… glad you decided to stick it out for now. Even if you decided to post pics of pinups – don’t should on yourself (as Stuart Smalley would say).

    And what Jim said.

  8. Its funny, Amber, I now feel like I manipulated everyone into asking me to stick around. I promise it was not my intent. Sigh.

    Sharon, thank you, but I promise you, the speech tomorrow is the LAST thing I feel like talking about. But I will always be a Progressive, and a Liberal. :)

  9. I can relate. Sometimes I feel the pressure to comment on a friend’s blog out of a sense of duty, because this friend puts a lot of weight on the commenting component of blogging. There I am, every time they post, staring at their blog, saying to myself, “What on earth am I going to comment this time?” I need some balance, you know? Some perspective. Thanks for helping me with that struggle.
    :)

    I’m glad you’re not giving this up.

  10. Yeah, we were all pretty much guilt-tripped into commenting. Funny how the internet does that when you care about someone. :)

  11. You might have (or might not have) noted me bitching a little while back about how all of my favorite Tennessee guy bloggers had quit (or slowed down considerably). Very glad to NOT be adding you to the list!!!!

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