You Want Me On That Wall

1500 hrs:  Dispatched to Middle School in adjoining sector to monitor and secure perimeter around the End Of The Year Dance.

1505 hrs:  Reported to Band Director (OIC) and received my orders.   I was to post lookouts and run scattered patrols throughout the dance POD and prohibit “inappropriate behavior” perpetrated by indigenous personnel in the 11-14 yr old category.  (wondered aloud if I would know it if I saw it)

1520 hrs:  Observed puddled liquid adjacent to dance staging area, began mopping up operation.  No casualties reported.

1535hrs:  Tracked large number of obvious rabble -rousers intent on rousing rabble.  Seriously outnumbered, elected to monitor rather than intervene.  Requested air strike.

1558:  Radios obviously inoperable.  Engaged in small skirmishes to establish the illusion of control over the area.  Re-enforcements nowhere in sight.  Mopped up again.

1604 hrs:  Watched helplessly as a curiously large number of combatants requested latrine visits.  No plans to mop up there.

1625 hrs:  Prepared to evacuate.  Made mental observation that testosterone is wasted on the young.

1630: Retreated in shame.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “You Want Me On That Wall

  1. “Tracked large number of obvious rabble -rousers intent on rousing rabble.”
    That was the greatest sentence I have heard in a very long time. Frickin hilarious dude.

  2. “Tracked large number of obvious rabble -rousers intent on rousing rabble.”
    That was the greatest sentence I have heard in a very long time. Frickin hilarious dude.

  3. democommie

    Mack:

    If you had watched “Footloose”–frame by frame, like the Zapruder tapes–you’da knowed what to do!

  4. Demo, no need. You see, I have The Thousand Yard Stare.

    All field marines have it.

  5. democommie

    Mack:

    As is obvious from your gravatar.

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