Sources inside the Titan organization suggested that, even though Coach Fisher had been kidnapped by the Tart from Smyrna, the deal they reached to swap most of Defense for him may have been unsound. Apparently, they spent today with her at Sonic, instead of L.P. Field. To prevent further distractions in the future, the Organization will now post guards at every public appearance Fisher makes.
Pressed to comment, Coach Fisher offered this: “I really hoped that once the ransom was paid, and I was parachuted to practice in the nick of time, we could win this game with just our offensive unit. Obviously, dropping four passes in the first quarter was never part of the game-plan.”
Quarterback Kerry Collins said Coach Fisher was acting erratically throughout the game, and said he had to ask his coach to stop screaming for them to “run 36D!”. This reporter was able to confirm that formation apparently does not appear anywhere in the Titan playbook.
Nashville law enforcement officials decided that since Ms. Snaps did indeed return the Titan Coach unharmed, if not absolutely exhausted, no charges will be brought.