Oh, Dear Readers, what to do? I live in a town that doesn’t seem to place much importance on, oh, lets say, reading, so I don’t usually make friends easily here. I don’t want to be branded as an elitist, (well, maybe I do) but really, if someone has no idea whats going on the world outside of their own zipcode, i probably will find very little in common with them.
So, I am fiercely protective of the few friends i have. Yesterday, I was visiting The Missus and her hard-working, rock-solid husband. Try to understand, we spend alot of time with this family. We hang on weekends. We vacation together. Our daughters share a birthday, and a love for reading. In short, we are pretty dang close.
Well, when their eldest daughter, a beautiful, complicated, incredibly talented sweetheart of a girl greeted me yesterday, she did something so shocking, so anti-American, that I am torn between my love for this family, and my love for this country. What did she do, you ask?
She walked up and gave me a terrorist fist-jab.
She’s 12, y’all. A pre-teen mini-jihadist. Our Liberal ,appeasement -oriented public school system has produced our first, but probably not our last terrorist sympathizer.
Is it on me, then, to notify the authorities, or, at least Bill Hobbs? I’m concerned that silence is indeed tacit approval, and I cannot stomach the thought that she may only be the one that slipped up by giving “the sign”, that there could be dozens more like her right here in our God-fearing community. I hate to suspect that The Missus and her hard-working, rock-solid husband might be aiding and abetting a home grown terrorist cell.
But, suspect them I must.
p.s.: I DID notice her wearing a scarf once. (smacks forehead)
11 responses so far ↓
SuperMousey // June 9, 2008 at 11:49 am
Dad…-shakes head-
That was funny, though.
Rachel // June 9, 2008 at 1:02 pm
“We spend alot of time with this family. We hang on weekends. We vacation together.” – Mack, you better keep in mind that we will make no distinctions between the terrorists and those who harbor them.
Mr. Mack // June 9, 2008 at 1:12 pm
But…I was undercover. Yeah,thats it.
The Missus // June 9, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Damn, I told her to lay low. Now we have to move.
Aunt B. // June 9, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Hurray! I volunteer to liberate the pool!
nm // June 9, 2008 at 3:41 pm
At least it wasn’t a gang signal.
jim voorhies // June 9, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Hurray! I volunteer to liberate the pool!
Aha. the perfect solution arises – throw her in the pool – it’s considered amateur water boarding.
democommie // June 9, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Mack:
It brings back memories of my AF time when all of us white boys were trying to learn “cool” and all of the “lifers” were shitting themselves when you gave them the “hippie hand shake”.
Southern Beale // June 10, 2008 at 11:20 am
She walked up and gave me a terrorist fist-jab.
Ha ha. I say if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Why not give her one of those terrorist scarves for her next birthday?
Southern Beale // June 10, 2008 at 11:57 am
terrorist fist bumpers abound but I’ll never understand how Americans could have voted for someonewho uses Satanic hand gestures.
democommie // June 10, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Southern Beale:
I looked at all them pitchers, the one of Tom Ridge looks zackly like Lou Costello. I could only tell it wasn’t him because Lou had a lot more gravitas.