$162.39 A Week

Can anyone tell me what fictional character had that salary?  The winner will be awarded a hand crocheted afghan from Aunt B. (After she’s finished mine) Bonus points if you are under 30.  My moneys on NM. (No fair Googling it)

Read this morning that CompUSA is closing all of it’s stores after the Holidays.  How much you willing to bet that they didn’t want that info out there during December? I recently went into one of their stores last week, in Cool Springs.  It is no wonder they are closing.  It was so poorly laid out, I never did find the mp3 section.  No employee ever came close to me. The article seems to say they had too many eggs in the home computer basket.  Whatever, an experience that impersonal made me vow to never return.

The thread over at MCB regarding Romney’s speech has turned ugly and its the usual suspects.  Pity.

My kids had a melt-down last night after I went to bed, and so I need to punish them today.  I’m thinking of “no computer time this weekend”, which is a fate worse than death for them.  I hate to punish so long after the fact, but I can’t totally let it go, it wouldn’t be fair.

Since its warm, I’ll be outside working most of the day, but damn its soggy on the ground.

Y’all have a great weekend.

Fear And (Self) Loathing

Yesterday afternoon I heard Chris Matthews say something on Hardball that made me do a double-take.  First, he showed a clip of George Clooney and Brad Pitt simultaneously congratulating Julia Roberts and poking fun at Sen. Larry Craig.  I have to admit, I laughed at the clip, though I have been recoiling at the amount of coverage his actions have received.  I find the money and manpower expended to “catch” tea-room specialists (guys who solicit sex in public places) to be an almost total waste.  I didn’t always feel this way, truth be told.  I think I ruined a man’s life long ago by arresting him for just this sort of thing.  He was a local surgeon, and a very mild-mannered, thoughtful person.  Nevertheless, I didn’t let him go and I will always be regretful of that fact.

So, yea, I laughed at the clip.  But then Matthews said something so strange I made it a point to record the 6:00 pm show just to make sure I had it right.  He said that the Craig “incident” made him “side with gay marriage.”  He went on to say “if we don’t show these people some respect, how can we ever expect them to respect themselves?”

That statement, meant, I think, as a conciliatory gesture to the GLBT community, was about the most patronizing and insulting thing I’ve ever heard Matthews say.  (And thats saying something)

I wanted to email Matthews and inform him that most men who participate in public solicitation are NOT homosexuals. Linking this practice to “self-loathing” homosexuals is not only misguided, but is patently unfair to gay couples who face real hardship by being denied the right to form legal unions.  If same sex marriage was suddenly legal in all 50 states, does Matthews really think there will only be men with “narrow” stances using public toilets?

Whether he meant to or not, Chris Matthews tossed up a line that was totally uncalled for, and in doing so, dismissed the entire GLBT community as a bunch of predatory, self-loathing losers.  I have friends that have been barred from the hospital rooms where their partners lay dying, and others who built a life with their partners and amassed an estate only to lose it to greedy, hateful “family” members.  Not one of these friends suffers from low self esteem, I can assure you.

I hope I’m not being nit-picky here.  I do my level best to avoid sounding shrill, and I do not revel in public ridicule, regardless of the political Party the subject identifies with, or represents.  I never thought Larry Craig should resign over his arrest.  I’m not interested in people’s sexual peccadilloes.  To paraphrase Amanda Peet’s character on Studio 60,  now we all get to be unctuous American gossip-bitches.  A Nation of Willie Geists.  Shudder.

The Golden Rule?

I believe the twist on this is the saying “he who has the gold, makes the rules.” There was a segment on the NBC Nightly News yesterday about what I consider to be a criminal practice some banks employ: raising rates on existing cardholders due to changes in their (the cardholders) credit score. An example: You have a credit card and the interest you pay on purchases is 14%. Something (and credit scores are way too arbitrary for my taste) causes your credit score to drop, so the bank raises not only your interest rate to 24% for future purchases, but raises it as well on the balance you currently carry. On the street, this is known as the “vig”, and any reputable loan shark (ha. Lets ignore THAT contradiction) who tried this would be considered dishonorable and untrustworthy. In the segment, representatives of the banks actually tried to say that they have found that when interest rates are raised, people pay off their balances faster. Sure they do, but almost always do it by taking out another card with a low teaser rate and transferring balances. Never mind that this practice can and does further lower your credit score.

So, heres my question for you “free market” gurus out there. Without regulation, what protection does the consumer have? It might be different if there were hundreds of competing banks out there, but the reality is that mergers have eliminated most real competition. You can make the argument that people who can’t pay their balances in full every month should not take out a credit card, but thats more than a little disingenuous since we would see a staggering drop in consumer spending if people only spent when they could pay cash. The restaurant and travel industries would suffer immediately. I doubt there would be a Black Friday at all. Don’t even get me started about the car business.

It was regulation that forced some transparency into the consumer loan process. Simple interest loans were not the brain child of an unfettered market economy. Where is the regulatory equivalent for the credit card industry? If thats a bad idea, I’m ready to learn why.

The Dog In Me

I kinda dug NWA’s Straight Outta Compton.  It was earthy and angry and yes, had a certain street cred to it, and I thought the way they laid down old 70’s tracks and riffed on them was cool.  Coming of Age in the 70’s gave me a healthy appreciation for funk, and you had to be the WHITEST PERSON ON EARTH to not like bow wow wow yippee yo yippee yay or whatever the lyrics were.  But good God, I hate Hip Hop.  I think.  I mean, I’m pretty sure that was what I was being assaulted by on Friday night.  So heres the story:

You may remember that some friends of mine have embarked on a lifelong (hopefully) journey which is beginning with a hastily planned wedding.  Being a friend, I went scouting locations for a reception.  I wrote about it last week.  The place I settled on is called The Zen Restaurant, and I met and really liked the owner.  On, Friday, he informs me that he’s short two bartenders on what promises to be a busy night, and I agreed to bail him out and go and tend bar, that night.

Now, I have worked in the restaurant business my whole life.  There isn’t a line position that I haven’t worked; dishwasher, busboy, server, host, bartender, bouncer, food runner, manager, general manager, and eventually, owner.  I have worked some damn rough spots.  I was the only non-black employee at a club in Pomona, California.  I worked for guys in Vegas that made the Sopranos look like the Osmond Family.  I’ve even worked  in gay bars that were rougher than anyplace you will find in Nashville.   Even my own joint was pretty damn rough on Thursday, (karaoke night) and Saturday (boys from Alabama would come to town to power drink and fight with Georgia boys) and I actually watched my bouncers put a guy’s head through the glass of my cigarette machine. I got into it once with an amateur wrestler in town to do a show, and whipped his ass so good my bouncers gave me a plaque with the remnants of my torn shirt.  So, yea, I’m seasoned.

I was actually excited by the prospect of getting my hands wet again.  I really love the feel of one liter bottles in my hands, and I always prided myself on my speed.  Pour, and ring, pour and ring.  No “Cocktail’ style flipping of bottles and what not, just building drinks with a  slight flair and getting them to the customer quickly, with an honest pour.

So, I get there, find out where stuff is, you know, the ice machine, the bar towels, back up juices, back up alcohol, and I spent a whole 5 minutes learning the P.O.S. (point of sale) system.  It truly felt like home.  The sound of the Hobart machine hissing and blowing out steam as it washes dishes made me smile.  The banter of the line cooks with the servers was strangely comforting.  I soaked my towel in soda water and wiped down the bar counter and the doghouses (cabinets where they store liquor) and even enjoyed washing glasses in the triple sink again.

My first order was for some kind of red wine and a white zinfindel. (people still drink that?) So far, so good.  The place hadn’t gotten it’s typical Friday crowd yet, so speed wasn’t an issue.  I made a couple of margaritas,  then a Long Island Iced Tea, which is fun to make because you use every bottle in your speed rack. By now, I’m feeling pretty good, maybe, if you looked real hard, you might have seen a slight swagger to my step, since I was pretty stoked at the fact that I could still do this shit.   This lasted about 30 minutes.

Like a scene from the 1968 Democratic Party Convention,  a wave of people of color descended on me, just as the DJ added an “11″ to his amplifiers and cranked them on FULL.  For the rest of night, I was reduced to “line of sight” order taking.  If I couldn’t read your lips, fuck you, I’m moving on, and you can drink water from the damn men’s room faucet.  “What? a blue what?”  “How many Liquid Ecstacys again?”  “Your girlfriend wants a what, a Screaming Orgasm?”  “Who doesn’t, buddy!”  And so on.

I’m pretty sure the avalanche of noise that hit me was music, mostly because the girls at the tables knew all the “lyrics” and I could see them singing along.  But  it all either sounded like the most whiny Michael Bolton type shit ever, or, worse, it was endless recitations of East Coast, West Coast, and some grunting accompanied by gunshots.  Horrible stuff.  Where the hell was The Electric Slide?  Don’t people do The Bus Stop anymore?  The Macarena?  By 2:00 a.m., I was exhausted, not from the physical labor, mind you, and not even from being up at a time I’m normally experiencing REM sleep, but from the noise.

Bartending, hell, working in nightclubs is a younger man’s game, I’m afraid.   When my shift was over, I grabbed my hat and coat and fled into the night.  I never even took a share of the tips.  I stepped over someone passed out by my car, cranked it, popped in a Steely Dan cassette, and took my sorry ass home.

The next day, the owner was nice enough to call and thank me for helping out, and said that there was an envelope waiting for me.  I’ll go back and get it, but you can bet it will be before the DJ starts.  Just sayin.

Fearing The Winds Of Change

Looks like we have two new leaders in Iowa.

The Liberal optimist in me loves this. No, I haven’t “endorsed” a single candidate as of yet, but I can’t help but smile at both Obama’s and Huckabee’s success. It makes me wonder if, somewhere in the voter’s subconscious, these two represent real change, and I think most Americans are tired of the status quo. (Or are they? Yesterday, I read that it will be impossible to implement any viable health care plan if it forces those that already have it to give it up. ) While I believe that most people (on the left) will tell you that the war in Iraq and a pending war with Iran is motivating their choice, I still believe that Katrina played a huge role in the Mid-Term elections, and could do so again in the next General Election. For years, Liberals and Democrats have been pounding on the Bush administration for crony ism and ineptness, but I think the average American didn’t “get” what this could mean to him or to her, and their families. Watching fellow Americans suffer for days while members of this administration shopped, strummed guitars, or attended lavish dinners really drove the point home. That said, the future of our foreign policy is probably what is driving the polls today. Either way, I believe the American public is the big winner here.

On the other hand, The Tired Old Cynic in me is fearful. Not of these two candidates, though they both have positions I don’t care for. No, I am fearful of how our corporate driven press will react to a possible Obama/Huckabee match-up. We have seen the debates manipulated to enhance or even force conflict for ratings sake. I’m somewhat shocked that they barely attempt to conceal this. In the run up to the last Democratic debate, “reporter” after “reporter” harped on about how much candidate A must “go after” candidate B, then damn if they didn’t force their hand with the FIRST question. It will probably only get worse. If I’m right, the real losers will be the American Public.

Its no secret that I am a Liberal, and that I will spend money and time to support whomever is the Democratic candidate. However, Huckabee is a mystery to me, though I find him likable in a way I never could with Giuliani, Romney, or The Actor. Even with an Iowa win, I find it doubtful that Huckabee will raise enough money to seriously challenge those three in other States. But his position on the bottom of a ticket scares the hell out me. A Democratic comparison would be Richardson, another former Governor that many people know little about. We shall see. I’ve paid little attention to the races thus far, but we are coming up on January, and, well, its time.