Its fun to tease Southerners about their love of frying. I’m not really sure it’s completely fair to tie them to this practice, at least not exclusively, but since Southerners themselves make fun of it, I’m guessing I won’t be stepping on too many toes here. I can remember the first time I ever had sweet tea. It tasted like thin waffle syrup. I was in some restaurant somewhere in Atlanta and ordered tea, and about spit it out when I tasted it. I wasn’t expecting to be able to spoon it out. So I’ll always remember that. The other thing I’ll remember is the first time someone told me they were going to fry a turkey for Thanksgiving. I laughed like a maniac. “Who, I asked myself, would have a pot large enough to fry an entire 18 lb bird?”
Turns out, damn near everyone. You’ve seen em. They are monstrously large aluminum or steel pots, supported by the flimsiest, most rickety looking “stand” imaginable, with large handles on either side. The idea is, you fill this pot with peanut oil, and, after consuming a 12 pack or so, immerse the turkey into this vat whose temperature is roughly that of the sun’s. What could go wrong? Well, if your bird is the teensiest bit wet, you will have front row seats for The Worst Fireworks Show on The Planet. Snap crackle pop doesn’t begin to cover it.
I’m sure most of you have seen the inevitable videos of drunken red necks scalding themselves doing this, or, worse, tipping the pot over and setting the entire trailer ablaze. Its a dangerous damn thing to do, period.
So, of course, I had to try it. I admit that I wouldn’t have even considered it if I didn’t absolutely love what comes out. If you are lucky, or good, or both, your turkey is surrounded by a browned, crunchy skin and underneath is the juiciest, most tender meat I have ever tasted. A couple of years ago I went out and bought a deep fryer that is actually designed to use indoors or out. I can’t imagine why anyone would attempt this indoors, but people do crazy ass things all the time. Anyway, I loaded my pot with peanut oil, heated it to the recommended temperature, injected my turkey with the obligatory “cajun-butter” liquid, and carefully and soberly eased it into the hot oil. Later, what emerged was somewhat close to what I wanted, but not quite.
So, heres my question: I didn’t care for the pre-packaged “marinade” that they practically require you to buy with your peanut oil, I don’t like the taste of butter, and it permeated the entire meal. I thought about just buying a smoked turkey this year, I really really like that smoked turkey sandwich in the food court at Opry Mills mall. So I’m thinking about that. But, if I want to fry again, any suggestions as to what I can inject in the bird to keep it moist inside? If you fry, I’d love to hear how you do it, particularly how you prepare your bird. I don’t know why I am thinking about this already, but we get a free turkey every year, and sometimes we donate it, sometimes we eat it, and I guess I’m trying to decide which way to go this year.
Whatever suggestions you make, please make sure I can perform what is required after having 7 or 8 shots of Blue Agave.
(Apologies about the stupid post title, but I try to never miss an opportunity to mock The Hutch. ® )
